Even if you passively browse the internet you are familiar with them. They come in many different forms such as “Top 10 Best Books that Julia Roberts Should Turn into a Movie of All Time”,“10 Ways to Shave Your Cat while Maintaining Its Sense of Dignity.”, or “10 Common Grocery Store Items that can be used as Currency in the Event of a Zombie Apocalypse.” While the wording may be different, the objective is the same: authoritatively listing ten things that are presented in bite sized, consumable chunks for the internet masses. They frequently inundate social media sites such as Digg and Reddit, highlighted in the top stories sections. At first glance they seem to offer interesting tidbits of information, a good starting point to a complex topic, or just a good laugh, but the problem is the way it has been perpetrated into modern web life. Every Joe Blogger has thrown their two cents in and it has gotten to the point that it seems to have lost a good measure of its value. So in an attempt to further add to this value proposition, I’ll highlight the problems I have with top 10 lists, conveniently presented in top 10 list form.

1. There’s Little Surprise to the Lists:

This is generally the case with best of the year type lists. Even if you have been passively following the media chatter, the results would come of little surprise to you. The Fighter is one of the best pictures of the year followed by Inception? You don’t say.

2. Top Ten Media of All Time is a Bit Disingenuous:

You see this all the time by every site\blog with an opinion of the medium at hand. They magically know better than “experts” without even remotely being well-read in the subject or caring to be for that matter. In order to write this type of list properly it would require a fair bit of experience with the medium of choice. For instance, if you were to make a top 10 list of Sci-Fi movies, you couldn’t expect to be an authority on Sci-Fi if the only movies you’ve seen were the six Star Wars movies, Blade Runner, and the four Alien movies. Sci-Fi films predate the 1900s so your point of reference would be extremely narrow if it started in the 1970s. What you posted would be of no value to the viewers if that were the case.

3. Top Ten Lists Also Won’t Solve Your Problems:

It is also disingenuous to post 10 bullet points like it would even come close to solving a problem as complex as a person’s debt or, hell, achieving a beach body. If things were so simple more people would be debt-free or possess the bodies that they wanted. It is one thing if the list is presented as a starters guide for someone hopelessly lost as to where to begin, but there is a danger that lie for articles slanted as a be-all-end-all. The simplicity and brevity of the article would prevent any form of informed decision making on the part of the viewer.

4. Top Ten Lists are Opinions Masked as Fact:

When people use nomenclature such as “best....of all time” it implies a sense of authority or at the very least a general consensus. Certainly more so than using “my favorite.” But that is what a top ten list generally is: a list of someone’s favorites, their opinion. Even suggestion lists are generally opinions or at best second hand opinions of a handful of experts of how to go about doing something.

5. Your Top Ten List Will Inevitably Piss Somebody Off:

Even if proper care and time were taken and your top ten list was released to the world with the best intentions, there is little doubt that few are going to agree with you. Your choices will be scrutinized based on the internet consensus on such matters. If too many of your choices are deemed “overrated”, your list is deemed irrelevant. Don’t think for a second that putting “underrated” or “obscure” choices will free you from such scrutiny. It won’t. You will then be labelled a “hipster douche bag”. On top of this your intelligence, tastes, and sexuality will be brought into question and your comments section will dissolve into a flame war. If that’s what you want, then by all means.

6. People Will Also Scrutinize the Order of Your Top Ten List:

# 1 is too high. # 10 is too low. In the comments there will be a long, drawn out explanation of why # 6 and # 7 should be switched. Or they could completely hate your list like in # 5.

7. Sometimes It Seems like the Article is Splitting Hairs:

At times, there seems to be little difference between entries in the list and it can come across like they are padding the article. See # 5 and # 6.

8. People Seem to be Running Out of Ideas for Top Ten Lists:

More and more you see top ten lists about subjects that you could care less about, like, say, “Top 10 Nail Clippers of All Time” or “10 Ways Your Cat is Like Your Boss.” Not that you would garner any admiration if you did make a top ten list they cared about. See # 5 and # 6.

9. The Top Ten Lists Seems to be Ad Driven:

Top ten lists are generally laid out in three pages even if they could fit into one.The primary purpose seems to be in increasing view counts for web ads. This is fine in and of itself ( who doesn’t want more page views/money?), but quality of content doesn’t seem to be the focal point. The lists tend to have a condensed, bullet point writing style which comes across like the author doesn’t expect anyone to be actually reading the reasoning for the respective entries. See # 5 and # 6.

10. Top Ten Lists are Used to Increase Traffic in the Short Term:

A top ten list might make it to the front page of a Digg or Reddit and in turn cause a spike in traffic to the site, but it’s a short term accomplishment. The rest of your site would have to keep the viewer coming back for more. It’s not like you could possibly make a site based around top ten lists? That would be ridiculous right? Oh wait, cracked.com, nevermind. See # 5 and # 6.

[Abe’s Words of Wisdom] People like reading articles in list format. They are composed of small digestible nuggets of information that can be consumed easily. But it’s like a snack when what would really be satisfying is a whole meal. So sit down, get your proverbial fork and knife out and read(Editor’s Note:Eat?) that article and hopefully you can judge(Ed:Digest?) it based on its merits. Was it engrossing(Ed:Delicious?)? Did it pique your interest(Ed:Appetite?)? It provides better social discourse than tidbits of information at certain times.